[Separating twins in school, continued]

My twins are five and attended Christ Church Day School for two years of preschool. It's a wonderful program and I believe we as parents were able to make the decision of keeping them together vs. splitting them. At that time (and for the 4's program), it made sense that they were together. They were very good, rarely had conflict.  However, starting Kindergarten (in a public school, PS 6) was a different matter. I felt that the transition from 4 to 5 was such that it was important for them to develop separately and to form their own social circles (which they have done very well - two months into K). Best of luck in whatever you choose to do (but again, I DO believe you should be given the choice for preschool). I was told that there is a lawsuit brought by twins parents in a New York court re the policy to split twins into separate classes if space permits. You might want to look into the arguments of pro vs con at that stage. I believe preschool is a completely different ball of wax (and twins are far more sensitive to the separation at age 3 and 4).

I have 3-3/4 year old twin boys. They started school this year and I separated them. They go to school M-F, from 8:30 - 1 pm. Personally, it was the healthiest and wisest choice I made for my boys. They are two incredible boys but they both are very different. One is more controlling and quick to take over; one is more easy going and will let his brother take over, even if he came up with the idea. This is one reason why separating them has allowed them to build their own personalities without each other overshadowing. Secondly they are together for recess and some special activities so they get to see each other and they love it. Thirdly I have found that they appreciate each other even more than they used to. When 1pm comes around they are so happy to be together and really make the most of their time together, sharing their stories about class and new friends and comparing what they have learned. It has been so wonderful watching this. There has been NO competition. Also separating them has allowed them to build their independence and self confidence. They are both the oldest in their class which has really helped, too.

The down side of separating: I have to deal with two lots of birthday parties, double the playdates to organize, two times the concerts and plays I will have to attend! But so far we are able to work things out and the boys are loving having playdates with their brother's friends. Before I end, however, let me tell you that every set of twins is different, especially boys vs. girls. And it's also how the parents feel about separating from their children, let alone separating from them and splitting the children up, too (do you get what I mean?). In one of my boy's classrooms this year, there are four other sets of twins. So I really can see the difference. Do what is best for your children.

I am surprised that they would separate the twins in preschool. We went through the whole preschool process last year and I did not hear that once from any of the schools. I have b/g so I am not sure if they treat same sex twins differently. I am a twin myself and we were in the same class until we turned 15 and never had any issues. But I guess these days the public schools insist on separating twins in kindergarten unless you have support from your pediatrician not to do so. My kids had no separation issues in preschool and I think a lot of that had to do with “always having each other.”

My 3-year-olds are in a 2s program (they missed the cut-off by five days and are the oldest in the class). They are together in the 2s and 3s and then they are separated in the 4s. I think that is a good way so they can get used to school together and then carry on apart.

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