[Separating twins in school, continued]

I recently read in "Twins" magazine that the most recent research indicates that separating young twins in school is not advisable. According to the article, it's too traumatic for children that young who are used to being together to suddenly be separated for long periods of time such as a school
day. The article goes on to say that being away from home and the mother or primary caregiver and going to school is a big enough transition and shouldn't be made more difficult but separating twins which only adds to their anxiety.

Opting Out of Preschool

When Stephanie Marks recently asked the group for thoughts on NOT sending her kids to preschool at age two or three, she got many responses and even more requests that she share those responses. Here they are!  Thanks, Stephanie.

I waited to send my girls to preschool until they were 3.8 years old. I didn't send them to a 2's program, I just didn't feel as though they were ready nor did I think it was necessary. I have never regretted my decision for a minute - a smattering of classes was just fine for them. I think you have this luxury with twins - they have each other so they have a built in playmate and daily stimulation.

As far as adjusting to the classroom since I waited the extra year - yes, that was a little hard in the beginning because they were the only ones in their 3's/4's class who had not been in school before - it took them longer than the other kids to adjust to the separation which made me feel a little insecure, but within a few weeks it was completely fine. As far as waiting until the 4's to send your girls, my only comments there are that it will be harder to get them in somewhere - the availability of spaces narrows once they hit 4's but it certainly can be done - it's just a little more stressful when you have two kids to place. The other comment I have about waiting until 4's is it may be a hard adjustment to go from no school to all of a sudden a very long day. My girls are now in a 4's/5's Pre-K program 5 days a week from 9-2. I think that would have been very tough for them to handle had they not been in school last year (5 days from 9-12). Another thing that is great about school is the close friendships they form. My girls are very shy but they have formed some deep bonds with kids in their classes, some of whom have moved on to other schools but whom they still play with on a regular basis. It has done wonders for their confidence and character.

Trust your instincts, you know your kids, if you feel like it would be better to wait then you should wait. The amount of money that we all pay for preschool is ridiculous - you really aren't paying for your kids to be learning things you couldn't teach them at home, you're paying for them to learn about independence and socialization. In my opinion – those things are much more readily absorbed by a child who is older than two!

I think there is too much hype about it all. Preschool at age two will not get your kids into Harvard any faster. My kids started at three. They adjusted easily to going four days a week from 8am to 6pm. One had a day or two of shock and tears when he realized this was permanent, but five minutes later he was fine -- the same reaction all kids have. They have fit in well -- were not behind in any way. If your nanny is social with other nannies and/or you set up play dates I believe you will be fine.

I didn't apply for fall 2007 when my kids will be 2-1/2. I figured I'd wait until they were 3-1/2 and next year, do some two- or three-day alternative. There seems to be a smattering of them (e.g. the Discovery Program, Kidville, etc.)

My twins are 22 months old and I don’t have plans to send them to preschool until they are four or more years old. I don't believe that it is necessary. There was an article in the Times recently about children taking classes at such young ages and it’s really something that is popular in NYC. It is really more to benefit the parents then the children.

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