[Opting out of preschool]

My kids will be two next month, and I'm seriously considering not sending them to a 2-3 year old preschool program and instead filling in with classes. It's partly financial - I mean, I wouldn't want to send them for more than three mornings a week, and then I'd have to pay our nanny on top of that. It's also that with their October birthday, they won't start Kindergarten until they're six years old--that's a LOT of preschool. And yet, I feel the pressure to apply. I'm just looking into a few low-key programs that I've heard only great things about. A friend's mom ran a highly respected preschool in Portland, Oregon, for 30 years and she recommended a 3-mornings a week thing. But I think classes may be just as good.

You should speak to Patti Wollman. She ran the JCC preschool, started the preschool at Habonim, and worked at a school for special needs children. I believe she charges for a consult but will give you the MOST well-rounded and informed point of view. The good and the bad. She can be reached at 917-443-0367. And she WON'T say "yes, you MUST send them to a program." She has helped me tremendously, and I have a great deal of respect for her integrity.

We sent our girls to preschool at age three, but only two three-hour sessions a week. We were dipping their toes in the water. I am not a big fan of preschool; it is really just socializing, and can't you do that far more cheaply on your own?? I sent the girls partly to introduce them to the idea of being without me (but you can do that with drop-off classes), partly to expose them formally to our religion (but you can do that at home and at your house of worship), and partly to give them a big group of new friends where they could socialize separately. That is important with twins, I think: you want them in a space and group big enough that they can wander away from each other, make different friends, do different activities.

But I am the first to admit that preschool in this town is too pricey and unnecessary at age two or three AS LONG AS you or your caregivers are committed to giving them solid social opportunities. And I would argue that does not include signing up for 45-minute classes or making play dates with one or two other children: kids need time and opportunity to create relationships and learn to be part of a group. They need a few hours a day almost every day with a consistent group of children their age (think groups of five or six, big enough for your children to have individual social opportunities, form friendships). If you and your caregiver can put that together, I honestly think you don't need preschool.

Just one gal's opinion (which might be shot down quickly by someone warning "but if you don't start at three, there'll be no room in quality programs for age four!").

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