[On interviewing nannies, continued]

One thing that comes to mind immediately is being extremely clear about the parameters of the job/your expectations. For example, if you want your nanny to help around the house while your kids nap, or if you want her to run small errands (e.g., buying diapers, groceries, etc.) while she is out with them, you should be very specific about that. Some nannies refuse to do those things (feeling that their duties should be only directly related to childcare) and some are ok with helping out.

My advice would be to have a job description thoroughly spelled out with all of the little things you'd like (i.e. changing sheets once a week, wiping down the high chairs each evening, etc.). Give it to them before the interview, or after your first interview and follow up with them to make sure they are aware of everything the job entails.

I'm not sure if you plan to be at home - if so, I'd definitely try to get a nanny who has experience being at home with a mom. It can be a pretty different job and I've found that some women who are used to be in charge during the day don't love dealing with mom (even if they say they are OK with it) and tensions mount. Even if you aren't planning to be at home with her, I like to hire people did work with a parent at home at some point - these are the best references as they really have seen the nanny in action day in and day out.

Discuss which if any holidays are paid; discuss if any personal days are offered, and paid or not; establish an appropriate period of time to be notified of appointments or vacation time (you should provide appropriate notification as well); discuss when transportation is covered (after 10 pm?) and whether receipts are required.

After we increased our nanny' hourly pay (3 years consecutively) we started to offer vacation days, personal days, transportation reimbursement, cell phone and monthly expenses covered, laundry stipend (especially since she now does laundry for our four children and us).

Discuss overnight pay if necessary; discuss the use of petty funds for household items or food; list expectations of time spent when the children are napping (laundry, light household cleaning).

Establishing the ground rules early is important. I found it helpful to clarify where I wanted a schedule to be followed closely and when it was OK to be more flexible, i.e., how much TV or Baby Einstein time, reading, play, walks, playdates, etc.

Some things to negotiate/make clear up front:
1. Set clear expectations about exactly what you want them to do. Some nannies ONLY want to do things directly related to the babies (feeding, changing, keeping toys picked up, baby laundry, keeping dishes related to the baby clean, etc.). If you want even light housekeeping, make sure you say so up front and detail what you mean by that.
2. Talk about the regular hours, what exactly will they be? (Most nannies will want set hours, e.g., from 8 to 6.) Just so you are both clear [if] these are not flexible. If you need her exactly these hours, make sure she knows that.
3. How will overtime hours be paid? How will these hours be arranged (how much notice does the nanny need/want and how much notice can you give/do you expect to have to give)? How often are you unexpectedly late getting home?
4. Weekends - will there ever be additional weekend work?
5. What about when you go on vacation? How often do you go on vacation?
6. How will vacations be taken? If you give the nanny the standard two weeks of vacation, how much notice do you need? Can you give the nanny two weeks in a row or would you prefer one week at a time? Would you like the nanny to take one week of her choosing and one week while you are on vacation (this seems like a great arrangement to me).

This last one about vacation is one we wish we had spelled out - that one week was of her choosing and one week was of our choosing. It sounds a little unfair but when we have four weeks of vacation, and take two weeks at a stretch twice a year, it seems to make sense.

The other things we wished we had talked more about include their experiences doing any sort of transition work, e.g., sleep, sippy cups, potty (ask them to tell you how they handled transitions previously as the child grew, changed sleep schedules; how did they shift a child to solid foods, sippy cups; how did they potty train, etc.). Even if you don't have all the answers yet yourself, you will get a better sense of how they work and how they think about child development and then you can see if that sits well with how you are thinking about it. Just be sure to ask lots of "behavioral" questions like "tell me about a time that was challenging for you" or "tell me about a success you had with sleep schedules."

Also, talk about safety issues, feeding philosophies (find out if they are a person who advocates putting rice in the milk to make a baby sleep - this will let you know that they know nothing about either nutrition or sleeping, for instance), and that sort of thing.

The book City Baby has some good ideas.

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