[On interviewing nannies, continued]

My advice is to offer a detailed job description, listing paid days off, compensation you'll offer for overtime or travel with your family, etc. Such details now can avoid a lot of unnecessary confusion and/or hard feelings in the future!

Inquire re...
Legal status, citizenship, green card, visa - what type of visa? [Confirm she does not have a tourist or student visa only].
Ask for a resume.
Consider where she commutes from - is it far?
Ask for references and follow-up.
Ask if she smokes.
Ask "What do you envision doing with the children, what is a typical day going to look like?" This might give you an idea if the person actually has age-appropriate experience.

Be clear about salary and any possible benefits from the start, including when they can take vacation, etc. Be clear about cleaning, if included. It is best to have everything on the table from the start.

Make sure to spend time with a newly hired nanny as a trial or training period. Try things like putting the diaper pail or change of clothes far from the changing table to see if she is careful to pick the child up when throwing away the diaper (we had one person walk away from the table with the baby on it.)

Ask if she will keep a diary of the day's events. This helps tremendously.

I like to stress to my nanny that it's a joint venture and that we both try to make each other happy. For example, whenever possible I let her leave early (like if there are lots of people helping out with the kids), and I expect the same in return (like staying an extra 10 minutes if things are crazy without expecting to be paid). That way we always feel like we owe each other and incur good favor.

Ask her some "situation questions" (What would you do if...), and also be very explicit about your parenting philosophy (never say X to baby...)

I suggest you tell all applicants you will need them to sign a release so that you can do a background check on them. This will weed out anyone not "up to snuff."

Tell them that you do NOT want them using a cell phone while they are taking care of your kids. If they need to use the phone, they should get a break during the day for lunch/personal time. It repels me to see nannies with one ear plastered to the phone, both hands clamped on the stroller, and a child crying at the top of his lungs, ignored.

Negotiate overtime, how you will pay the nanny for staying overnight and for travel. Flat fee? By the hour? These are things you need to iron out right away, so that you will both be happy.

Decide which holidays she will have off, paid or unpaid (Memorial Day? Christmas? Thanksgiving? Day after Thanksgiving?) and discuss this BEFORE she starts to work for you.

If you want your nanny to wear a uniform, dress/not dress a certain way (and for that matter things like wear no perfume, no long nails, etc.) now is the time to speak up.

I would also ask her her opinion re punishment (if age appropriate, or maybe even if not), sleep habits, etc. It's important to know if the two of you are on the same page or not - you are hiring someone for the most important job in the world!!

It's crucial that you let your nanny know if you want HER to be the boss, that is, to discipline/feed/bathe/put to bed your kids, or if YOU want to be the boss and you want her to work according to YOUR rules. And I would suggest you do the latter!!

Remember [with infants] that your kids are so young now, but whomever you hire will also take care of them when they are older, able to eat table food, run (fast! in different directions!), understand instructions, pay attention to a book with a plot...a hypothetical baby nurse who is heavyset, can't read English very well, and doesn't cook is fine for your babies, but kiss of death for toddlers! Ask candidates...

1 Are you certified in child/infant CPR, and if not will you take a class now?
2 If one child falls in the park, may need stitches, what do you do/do first? (You want someone who sizes up the injury, applies pressure/ice while calling 911/seeking medical care BEFORE calling YOU when seconds count.)
3 How well do you know my neighborhood? (Do you know where the park, library, grocery store, pharmacy, music classes are or do I need to tell you? Do you know what local indoor options you have when it is raining/snowing?)
4 Are you resourceful, sociable in your own estimation? (Are you going to find out when local story times are? Are you comfy calling moms and other caregivers of my choice for play dates? Are you going to strike up conversations with other nannies in the building or at classes or in the park?)

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